Urlaubshits

A few weeks ago I decided to perform an experiment. The experiment was to see if someone like me, a blogger with limited music production skills, and only a copy of Ableton Live, a MIDI keyboard controller, and some crappy speakers could take on the rest of the world in one of the ubiquitous remix competitions that are taking the internet by storm. The only thing I had to go on was my impassioned self belief in that whatever I made, no matter how slapdash it was, would at least be better than the majority of entries submitted by the rest of the public.

My reason for doing this is simple – I thought I should put my money where my mouth was, as I often say “I could do better than that” when listening to the hundreds of entries that clog up such competitions. This, of course, and the substantial cash prize. This is something I have been considering for a while, but it was only a few weeks ago that the correct opportunity presented itself – the opportunity to remix “Ulysses”, the upcoming single from Franz Ferdinand’s third album. I really liked Franz Ferdinand back in the day, and although my tastes may have changed, I still have great love and respect for their material. Finally, this was the chance to enter a remix competition that would actually inspire me. My experience however, has been, to put it bluntly, utterly miserable.

I’m not going to debate the issue of whether contestants should be required to pay for the stems – personally I have no problem with paying a nominal fee – after all, you are still dealing with copyrighted material. Just because it is split into many pieces doesn’t mean that the ownership issue can be sidestepped. If an artist wants to charge for multitrack versions, then it is their right to do so, as long as the price is reasonable. I’m also not going to write a piece trashing my opposition. Although I may laugh (i.e. have laughed) at a trance remix of Franz Ferdinand, there are obviously a lot of people who are into trance music; but to them, I suppose my remix must sound like the Chucklevision theme tune. I can moan all I like about the hundred derivative Justice sound alikes, but to the vast numbers of people who want to hear that sound again and again, those will be getting their vote. These factors are a given. What I’m really pissed off about is the way these competitions, and specifically Beatport remix competitions, are operated.

This particular competition seems fair in the way that it has defined submissions and voting periods. There is no way for anyone to gain a clear lead until the voting starts. However, when the competition does reach the voting stage there is always something that unfairly tips everything towards the people at the top. The first thing I see when I go to the main page for the remix competition is the current leader. There are three pages of entries – probably about a hundred on each. I get bored after scrolling through five. I can also see the number of votes each entry has received. Aren’t conventional democratic processes conducted with a degree of secrecy? Furthermore, the lack of possibility for randomisation within the entries just keeps the poor unfortunates with no votes at the bottom.

Possibly the most disturbing aspect, however, is that the competition seems ludicrously easy to cheat on. One entrant, who I will not name, (simply browse through the comments on the top few entrants to find out who) has openly admitted to cheating within the comments pages of his entry. Last weekend, the number of votes for his entry leaped up to sixty votes, with comments being left minutes after each other, all from new accounts. The entrant did express remorse for his actions, and claimed that he had undone the fraudulent votes, and had asked for Beatport to remove him from the competition. However, this entry still remains in the running. This begs the question: is anybody actually running this competition? Is it even a competition at all?

The answer, (to the second question at least) is probably not. Of course there will be a winner, and their remix will be released, and success may follow, but the real winner is the record company, who own each and every remix and can use the best runners-up as free promotional tools to send to blogs throughout the world. As these remixes aren’t going to be commercially released anyway, there’s no risk of money being lost, and, as us poor entrants paid for the stems, we are literally paying Domino to market Franz Ferdinand. Of course these people will get their names flashed around a bit, which all goes towards to progressing your career, but none of this really fosters creativity. Reading through some of the comments it seems that the attitude towards remixing is often one of commercial viability rather than genuine experimentation. It paints a somewhat cynical picture of how a lot of aspiring producers view their creative process. I have heard remixes in this competition that have very few votes and are ten times more interesting than most at the top, but because the top remixes are more commercial, they are seen as better.

Even if I were to be lucky enough to be at the top, your remix will probably just attract the abuse of Beatport forum trolls who have little better to do with their time than belittle you in an attempt to shatter your already cracked confidence. Though a brilliant one-liner left by one user which read: “Justice called, they want their plug in back”, a comment which resides in those of the current leader, did leave me with a rather satisfying feeling of schadenfreude.

Even if I don’t win, which in all likelihood I probably won’t, I can at least take solace in the fact that I have had some genuinely encouraging comments from complete strangers (or, at least those that didn’t want me to vote for them). And this is perhaps the biggest surprise; if you take a step back, and stop viewing the whole thing as a competition, then remix competitions can be genuinely productive experiences. So a word of advice to anyone who is considering entering a remix competition – don’t do it if you want to win. Do it because you want to practice your production skills on some professional audio tracks, and because you need deadlines to work with to get anything finished. If you don’t go in with this attitude, you will find the experience little more than completely demoralising.

But even still, the prospect of a prize means that I must shamelessly prostrate myself in front of you for your support. I currently have 42 votes, and four days left to go. The leader has 151. That’s quite respectable, all things considered. It puts me in 22nd place out of hundreds. If you want to vote for me, you have until the end of Tuesday 9th December. You have to register with the site, log in, then “spin” my track in order to vote for it. You can find my entry here:

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http://www.beatportal.com/remix/detail/ulysses-urlaubshits-metamorphosis/